I never do this, but as junior sailing programs are beginning all around the Northeast, my June column of last year bears repeating. The words still hold true.
Why is it that many junior sailing programs lose as many as half their kids by the third year? There are many reasons, but the bulk of them lie with the two groups who have the greatest influence on young sailors—instructors and parents.
To start with, I’d suggest you copy and print the JSA of LIS Mission Statement. This statement should help guide the programs, sailors, parents and instructors. Read it carefully.
The Mission of the Junior Sailing Association of Long Island Sound is to support junior sailors at member programs and to encourage them to experience the joy of sailing and learn about and appreciate the complexities of the marine environment.
The JSA promotes ethical behavior among its sailors and encourages the teaching of life-long lessons, which seek to build character, foster teamwork and strengthen respect for self and others.
Through its programs and policies, the JSA seeks to support both serious competitors and recreational sailors at all levels of skill and to encourage their sailing in local waters and beyond.
Let’s start with instructors. They are a group who are far better trained than when I taught back in the dark ages. As a whole, instructors are a very responsible bunch, but here is a list of dos and don’ts they may want to keep in mind.
Do
1) Remember when you were 8 or 9 and were getting in a boat (most likely an Optimist) and were scared to death.
2) Remember that you are a hero to the kids. Charles Barkley may have believed “I ain’t no role model,” but you are.
3) Make safety the number one objective of the program.
4) Make fun the number two objective. 5) If you pay attention to 3 and 4, winning is likely to follow.
6) Find a place in all your programs for kids that don’t care about racing. Note the mission statement does not use the word racing once.
Don’t
1) Play favorites. It’s easy to spend time with the sailor who wins all the regattas, but it can be far more rewarding to watch a young sailor come out of his or her shell and develop a real love for the sport.
2) Forget that as a role model the kids will look up to you. If you smoke or show up hung-over, they will think that is cool.
3) Overcoach. At most Opti regattas, the kids do not need to be told the mistakes they just made on the racecourse. They need a water bottle and a hug.
4) Forget that this is not school. It’s meant to be fun.
OK, now that I’ve beaten up on the instructors, let’s move to potentially the worst problem—helicopter parents.
Do
1) Provide the support for your child that is appropriate for their interest level. If they just want to hack around and have fun, let it be. If they show a real interest in getting better as a racer, look into programs like LISOT. This is an organization that promotes fun and camaraderie, while improving sailing skills. Unlike some of its predecessors, it is inclusive. The only requirement is to want to sail and learn more.
2) Let the instructors teach the kids. You are paying for talented teachers, so let them teach. They probably know more than you and can be objective.
3) Volunteer to help, whether it be serving on a committee for a junior regatta, driving to away events or organizing a picnic. You are effective here.
Don’t
1) Help your child rig or unrig their boat. This is something they need to learn themselves, and they are probably embarrassed by your “help.”
2) Berate an instructor, especially in front of the sailors. This immediately undermines their authority and thus their ability to do their job. If you have a problem, seek out the program chair or a member of the committee. It will be far more effective.
3) Go to regattas and scream and cheer when your child or your program’s child rounds a mark in a high position. How do you think this makes the kids at the end of the fleet feel? Like losers.
4) Make the first question you ask your child after a regatta be, “How’d you finish?” It should be, “Did you have fun?” There are some exceptions to this. If they are older and committed to groups like LISOT or traveling teams, it’s OK to ask how they did. These are committed racers, and winning is fun. However, don’t grill them for information. It will come out. Discuss, don’t preach.
I fully realize that the vast majority of instructors and parents are very effective in raising kids to have a lifelong love of the water, but it’s that minority that can ruin a summer for all. As I’ve said ad nauseum, if it isn’t fun, then we are not helping to grow our sport.
If you want to see what it’s all about, check out the cover of this month’s Southern Boating (southernboating.com). This picture is worth more than a thousand words. It should be on the bulletin board of every junior program
Have a great, safe and fun summer.