March 2021 – While John Fulweiler claims his close friend collaborated with him on various projects including content for this column, it appears Johnny Walker is the brand name of a blended Scotch Whiskey and not an actual person. We have asked John to refrain from referring to Johnny Walker, Jim Beam, Captain Morgan, Jack Daniel, Jose Cuervo and Sam Adams as his friends or writing partners.
January 2022 – Reference was made by John to a lingerie magnate using press gangs to crew his superyacht. We have no evidence of lingerie being loomed in sufficient quantities by underpaid foreigners to fund the purchase of a superyacht and we have no evidence of press gangs being used to crew yachts calling in Newport, RI. John attributes his confusion to the presence of rowdy nighttime tourists who appeared to be acting as press gangs. We have asked John to avoid walking about town in the evening. We have provided John with an Uber account.
May 2023 – In connection with the sinking of a yacht grounded on rocks, John explained the sinking occurred when the yacht’s captain was lured into the shallows by a “comely mermaid.” We have no evidence to support this assertion. We do not believe mermaids exist. We have changed our editorial standards to now require photos before publication of any story involving mermaids.
June 2023 – John did not headline the Newport Folk Festival. We regret any confusion caused by this statement. John did play violin for a (very) short period in grammar school.
June 2023 – On a related matter, you cannot gain access to the Newport Jazz Festival much less any venue in Newport, RI by stating, “We know maritime lawyer John Fulweiler.” Without undermining John’s maritime lawyering prominence, we regret any inconvenience (or embarrassment) caused by John’s statements otherwise.
July 2023 – John earlier wrote he sat next to a denim-clad Jesse James while they ate lobster rolls overlooking Newport Harbor. We determined this was true, but John was not thereafter gifted a custom-built motorcycle from West Coast Choppers. John does not ride.
September 2023 – The U.S. Navy did not pursue John aboard his daughter’s inflatable during the Labor Day weekend. They did not attempt to board the inflatable. John did not discharge a flare gun successfully repelling their boarding. We have met with John and made it abundantly clear to him that he is, without a doubt, not Walter Mitty. We take identity theft seriously.
November 2023 – In connection with a column about liability for vessel wakes, John claimed that as with second-hand smoke, if you don’t like the wake get out of the way. This is not correct and reflects a lack of understanding as to the liability associated with your vessel’s wake. John attributes this misstatement of the law to Jose Cuervo having authored that column. We know Jose is not real. Again, we have asked John to avoid reliance on fictional characters.
January 2024 – Although John suggested (and we concede, may have encouraged) recreational vessels flagged in the USA approaching, boarding and claiming foreign flagged vessels for their local municipality, this is not legal. There is no modern-day privateering law authorizing this behavior and, by extension, John’s enthusiastic endorsement of this practice as a means of lowering property taxes is equally misplaced. A change to our editorial standards now prohibits us from accepting any writings from John on privateers or privacy.
March 2024 – As John has not yet purchased a home in Harbour Island, Bahamas, he has no guest rooms to offer free of charge to those who share his column on social media. While we appreciate his love of this charming island, we want to dissuade our readers from relying on any promise John makes. We appreciate and thank those who share his columns on social media for the love of his writing.
May 2024 – The public’s right of way to the ocean’s edge does not extend to yacht transoms. We understand there was some confusion on this point following John’s column, “Take What’s Yours!” We sincerely apologize to all affected by this misinformation and deeply regret the distress caused to Commodore Hentley and his wife when a family (with two dogs) mistakenly boarded their boat, believing they could set up a pop-up beach tent on the aft deck. At our request, John has written apology letters.
June 2024 – An MIT study did not determine youth sailors do better in life. There is no such MIT study. While we believe this statement is true, John was wrong to reference a non-existent study. There is no Professor Hawsepipe employed with MIT, nor a research building called the “Center for Sailing Quantitatives.”
August 2024 – While John does maintain an office in Newport, RI and while this city is the sailing capital of the world, John’s office space was not “borne of a collaboration with I.M. Pei and Renzo Piano.” John’s office space does not span two acres. He does not own a “downtown pier.” There is no law office yacht.
We believe in the highest journalistic standards and will offer these clarifications on an as-needed basis going forward. That said, we’re encouraged to learn John is now working closely with two outside editors (Evan Williams and George Dickel).
Underway and making way. ■
John K. Fulweiler, Esq. is a Proctor-in-Admiralty representing individuals and small businesses in maritime matters including personal injury claims throughout the East and Gulf Coasts and with his office in Newport, Rhode Island. He can be reached at 1-800-383-MAYDAY (6293) or john@saltwaterlaw.com, or visit his website at saltwaterlaw.com.
