Author: John K. Fulweiler

The Boating Barrister

By John K. Fulweiler

Nothing rhymes with “orange.” I’ll leave America’s choice at that and encourage you to watch comedian John Mulaney’s stand-up, where he describes President Trump’s (you salute the rank, not the man) first term as a horse loose in a hospital. Alright, I’m sorry, I can’t leave at that . . . Boats are expensive. Dockage and moorage fees (always padded with local municipality charges), haul-outs and launches, seasonal prep – new zincs, bottom paint – not to…

The Boating Barrister

By John K. Fulweiler

Bercy Arena, Paris. Depeche Mode’s Exciter Tour. Leagues later, it’s the imagery of the backup singers banging out the rhythm that sticks. Their primal enthusiasm for the tracks was nitrous oxide redlining the ennui of a youthful age into wild energy. If you were there, you’d remember even if you were mainlining pharmaceuticals and pawing your partner. You surely would. Whether aboard the yacht or in the witness stand, backup singers bring the juice. It’s the nonparty…

The Boating Barrister

By John K. Fulweiler

  There are two things that matter in life: hope and fear. That’s what 53 years of living has taught me and I’m right as rain. You’re a time traveler of sorts in that when you read these words, you’ll know the outcome of this 2024 presidential election and yet as I type, I don’t. I’m not here to pummel political positions because the outcome is fated, but that ‘hope and fear’ bit – that’s determinative. On…

The Boating Barrister

By John K. Fulweiler

March 2021 – While John Fulweiler claims his close friend collaborated with him on various projects including content for this column, it appears Johnny Walker is the brand name of a blended Scotch Whiskey and not an actual person. We have asked John to refrain from referring to Johnny Walker, Jim Beam, Captain Morgan, Jack Daniel, Jose Cuervo and Sam Adams as his friends or writing partners. January 2022 – Reference was made by John to a…

The Boating Barrister

By John K. Fulweiler

There’s a guy in the house next to our office who financed forty slave voyages. That level of trauma is hard for me to grasp. I don’t care if your underwear was woolen and your Bloomberg terminal was a quill pen and parchment — you knew that was wrong. You don’t need modern hindsight to check your moral compass. He doesn’t live there anymore, given his 1700s business, but the rancor of his efforts lingers too close…

The Boating Barrister

By John K. Fulweiler

Tom Whitwell is a man known for making a list of 52 things he learns each year. It’s the analog version of the stream of tidbits social media gives you. I like the idea. Here are some salty things I’ve learned vaguely relating to the maritime law and which might give you some cocktail ammunition for your next gathering: 1. In maritime law, a yacht is often classified as a pleasure vessel, and owners must comply with…

The Boating Barrister

By John K. Fulweiler

The problem with boating is the sea bends, passengers slip, depths change, boats collide, winds gust, things sink, tides ebb and, well, this wobbly world is generally unforgiving. While all these variables might give boating its charm, there may be occasions where an admiralty lawyer’s guidance is the well-needed salve to your most recent liquid adventure. The challenge is in finding and hiring a lawyer who knows this hoary patch of legal precedent at a rate that…

The Boating Barrister

By John K. Fulweiler

The problem with boating is the sea bends, passengers slip, depths change, boats collide, winds gust, things sink, tides ebb and, well, this wobbly world is generally unforgiving. While all these variables might give boating its charm, there may be occasions where an admiralty lawyer’s guidance is the well-needed salve to your most recent liquid adventure. The challenge is in finding and hiring a lawyer who knows this hoary patch of legal precedent at a rate that…

The Boating Barrister

By John K. Fulweiler

The way it was, you’d have the boat captain and the owner swapping stories all night. The vodka and beer didn’t do anything but make the stories sharper and the memories brighter and a little louder. Now how it is, they sit languid at the bar or sprawled on the wicker. No one talks ‘cause they’re all staring at a pixellated screen. I think video didn’t just kill the radio star; it’s done killed us all! I’ve left Johnny at home…

The Boating Barrister

By John K. Fulweiler

There are stupid questions. Don’t let any boater tell you different. From the owner of the boat show production vessel to the teak decks of a German build, there’s a lot of stupid. Here’s my list for your galley amusement and maybe some teaching. I mean, OK, OK. Cool your jets, Bar associations, it’s not legal advice. Don’t rely on what I’m saying. Every situation is different. You get the idea; don’t be stupid. If I find…